So Much To Say…So Little Time

That is, so little time left here at the library. Hopefully, I will have years and years in front of me before I kick off! Today is the six month anniversary of when I had my stroke, so I figured an update would be a good thing.

Oh, and speaking of stuff, the laptop that my daughter brought over was truly dead, Jim. They grabbed its wallet and tricorder, then gave it the finaly blessing. Actually, I am happy that my daughter was able to get all of her pictures off of it before it went into its death throes. And speaking of computers, my other computer is still at the geek’s house. If it hasn’t come back by the end of this weekend, I will ask for it back, and take it to someone else who will do the job quickly and efficiently.

Yes, it has been a long time since my last post, thank you for noticing. I ended up not going to the swap meet for two weekends in a row, and honestly, for most of the month of February, I was pretty much out of it. Turns out that I may have been suffering from a bug, because I am feeling pretty good these days.

I did forget to take my meds on both Friday AND Saturday, something which had never happened before. Strangely though, I was walking better, I lasted longer at the swap meet, and I actually DANCED on both nights! Without holding anyone’s hands!

I knew that the meds were affecting me a bit, but I had no idea that they were affecting me THAT much

Just when I think it’s getting better…

Hey everyone, I’m back…sorta. Just when I think that I am making everything go my way, albeit slowly, I get forcibly reminded that this shit don’t listen to anyone. Kinda like the honey badger.

I have really been trying to MAKE myself be productive, but it’s rather like trying to keep a sand castle together while the tide is coming in. Just when I think that I have managed to do one thing, something else slips out of my grasp. And then things went downhill fast on Friday.

I have learned that I can either walk around town, or I can accomplish things, but I can not do both things at the same time, or even on the same day. If I want to do laundry, I can’t walk or do the dishes. If I want to walk, forget about waxing the floor or cleaning the bathroom. Trust me, when you know what you WANT to do, but you CAN’T manage to do it, it is VERY frustrating.

But then you get forcibly reminded about how far you have come, and how fast it can all be taken away, and then your frustration tones down a wee bit.

On Friday, I walked up to the library. So far, so good. I got in there, and I had my computer to myself, and I started to read things and post. Then I realized that I wasn’t understanding what I read, and I couldn’t make a coherent sentence. After about 45 minutes, I gave up and I made my way home…quickly.

I put myself into the bed, and I stayed there all day. After a while, I became coherent again, but I still kept it easy, as I really didn’t want to repeat what had just happened. BTW, my blood sugar had skyrocketed, which is why I was a bit fuzzy. Why it went up so quickly, and so high, I don’t know.

I went to sleep early that night, and by 9pm I was asleep. But then I awoke at 1:30am, and I couldn’t get to sleep. I had developed a tummy ache, and it was 5am before I could sleep again. I had decided that I would NOT go to the swap meet that day, and all was fine.

Then I woke up again at 6:30am, and after warring with myself, I decided that I needed the money really very much badly, and this was the first of the month, and there should be some good money available if I just went there, so I got up and got dressed, ate, then headed out to my already packed car.

I went to start my car, and it was dead. Well, sorta kinda alive, but dead enough that it wasn’t going to spring to life for me at that moment, or any other, for that matter. At that point I decided that there was a good reason for me to stay home again, and I went back inside, got undressed, and headed back to bed.

Sometimes things happen to us, and we need to listen. I really think that it is time for me to slow down a bit, and to maybe try to be capable and competent another time…say about 6 months from now. Meanwhile, I will try to stay on here, but don’t count on it too much.

I have also decided that it is time to file for some assistance, because no matter how hard I want to get all better, it just isn’t going to happen quickly enough, and it is better to file my paperwork now, and hope for the best. So here I go on a sojourn to get some assistance, it may take me a while to figure out all of the paperwork, but I will manage it somehow.

Wish me luck!

I Have a New Computer…Now if I could only get the password!

You read that right, Nancy scored a Dell computer for me, and it looks like it is in really good shape. However, they forgot to include the password. No problem, there are mystical magical incantations designed to bypass the password…except that they didn’t work for me. OK, then all I need is to reboot the whole shebang…except I need the product code, which they didn’t include either. And I don’t have a memory stick to download the program that will decipher the beggar, either.

Great. However, I have gone online here in Sierra Vista at the library, and I have found a few more fixes that may work…or they may crash and burn like the others. If worst comes to worst, my default solution is in place.

What is that, you ask? Why, very simply, I will let my friendly geek figure it all out!

My daughter forgot to bring the laptop with her, but I have my hands filled with the desktop computer right now. As for the laptop, I will try the sequence that worked on my computer, and pray, but if it doesn’t work, I will likewise hand it over to my friendly computer geek!

I am rather like a very smart monkey with a map when it comes to computers. I know just enough to get me into trouble with them, but I can get lost REALLY easily too! I also suffer from the pathetic fallacy, because I assign anthropomorphic feelings to inanimate objects…trust me, computers are alive, aware, and they know I am messing with them!

Anyway, I guess if I am going to see if this will work, I will need to run home and check it out. Keep your fingers crossed for me, OK?

Today was so hard…

Today was hard. the weather was beautiful, but I just didn’t have the oomph to do anything. I did though. I managed to go to the swap meet, and I made a few dollars again. Once more, not enough to write home about, but if I can at least manage to handle a few things on my own, then I guess that is good.

I also got to see Alan today, I hadn’t seen him since the summer, and he had some good info for me, and he also told me to keep my good attitude, do what I can, but take it easy, too, and don’t do too much. I think that the 71 year old got a wee bit jealous and booty-hurt because I was talking to a younger guy. Whatever!

Quick note, mostly to myself, today was the first day that they were collecting the money right at the front, and they had all of the entrances closed off so you HAD to go there. Thank heavens I had the start money, there have been days when I went there broke! I will have to get there earlier from now on, so I don’t miss my spot, which is what happened today. Errrgggg.

When my mom was here, and I was moaning a bit about being on the dole, she nicely reminded me that I have paid over 400K into the system, just by myself; and if you include 35% of what my MIL had, the figure goes up MUCH higher. So I shouldn’t be too unhappy about the fact that I am taking back money from AHCCCS. I must keep reminding myself of these things, because it is easy to forget that sometimes everyone needs a little help.

Reminder to self, write about Doc tomorrow, and what happened on Thursday.

What a day…and the Ah-hoes story.

It is already more than halfway through Thursday, and here I am wondering where the week has gone. I do get a bit frustrated, because at times I think that if I just push myself a little harder, then I will magically start getting better, but it just ain’t so. Truth to tell, as much as I enjoyed having my mom here, I am still trying to recover from her visit, and that was over 10 days ago.

I walk every day, and one would think that by now I would be able to walk a little further each day. But it hasn’t happened yet, no matter how much I walk and when I get tired, I stumble around more than I would like. I did my laundry yesterday, and like always, by the end I was wishing that it would just do itself. Y’all, I only did 2 loads! This from the woman who could do 32 loads at the laundromat 10 years ago. My, how the mighty have fallen.

Oh, a quick note, the Sylvester cat is missing. He was a stray cat who I had been feeding for a long while; he went missing last week, and I am afraid that he has met his end. I was to the point that I could almost touch him, and he WANTED to be touched so badly, since he saw all of the other cats getting loved, but he just couldn’t get past his ingrained fear. Now I think it is too late.

Now…I suppose I should tell the story about my children and the Ah-hoes, because I think that it why you tuned in, so here goes…

My friend Diane had been babysitting my daughter for me, and this was pre-Erin. Diane was merging into traffic, when someone totally cut her off! Diane muttered a little to herself, but rapidly regained her composure. Megan, my 5 year old daughter was in the passenger seat, and she calmly looked up at Diane and said, “Aunt Diane?”
“Yes Megan?”
“That person was really an asshole, weren’t they?”
Sputter, gulp! “Why yes, Megan, they were. But I got past him and all is fine now. Ummm, where did you hear that?”
“Oh, my mommy says it whenever people are bad.”
“Aahhh.”

Diane later told me about the conversation, and I was equally mortified and amused about it. I promised to watch my mouth a bit more, and on we went. Cut to the time that Erin had made her appearance, and at this time she is 2 years old. Erin had a major speech impediment, necessitating years of therapy, but at this point, she could utter single words to get her point across.

Once again, thanks to San Diego traffic, Diane had been cut off once again. Megan, in the front seat, had learned her lesson, but Erin, in the back seat on her booster chair was SHOUTING “Ah-hoes!!! Ah-hoes!”

Yes, she could get her point across.

And I guess I never learn my lessons.

And That Reminds Me…

Wow. Lots of people read yesterday’s post. If you didn’t do it already, I will wait a minute for you to go back and do so. Finished? Good. Joyce mentioned something about a ride in a paddy wagon, and so I am waiting with bated breath to hear about that one.

My daughter mentioned another little incident on my facebook, so I will probably tell that story this week. However, I SWEAR that I did NOT teach my children to say “Aah hoes! Aah hoes!” I just was one of those things that happened. Really. That’s my story, and I am sticking to it.

Sometimes I wish that we had little “record” devices in our brains, and other times, I rather like being able to tell whatever story I like, with no possibility of refutation. One thing I wish I had recorded was Megan saying “Mama” within one hour of being born. Seriously. And we had just turned off the recorder, which is probably why we video recorded Erin’s birth. However, she didn’t say anything amazing at the time. Just can’t win for losin’!

Erin lives in fear of my figuring out how to move the video to DVD, and then posting it on YouTube, with a link to facebook. I suppose I could do it, and it would almost be worth the look of abject terror that she would give me! Almost, but not quite. I guess that I will have to be satisfied by spoiling my grandson, then giving him back!

And that’s all for now!

The Night I Got Arrested

It was a dark and stormy night…well, not really, but it sounds good. Anyway, I lived in Stead back then, (North of Reno) and I worked in Reno, doing the graveyard shift at Reno Air Reservations. I woke up from my afternoon nap, a wee bit scared because I had had a very realistic dream in which I got pulled over on the 395. It should be mentioned that my truck was rather illegal, because I couldn’t afford to re-up the registration at that time. I also had a ticket and a failure-to-appear on my record, but we won’t mention that either.

I had no choice about driving my truck to work because the bus didn’t run at that hour, so I just did what I had to do, and got ready for work. I happened to be dressed very nicely that night, because I had a meeting or something, and I headed out the door to work. Greg had already gone to work on the bus, because the timing worked out for him.

So there I am, just past the spaghetti bowl and onto the I-80, when those flashing lights are seen in my rear-view. Shi*, SHI*, SHIT! How in the world could I talk my way out of this one? I pulled over, and blatantly broke a standard rule, by getting out of my car. I was looking rather festive in my holday sweater…did I mention that it was the Christmas Season?

To make a long story rather short, the cop, who had no sense of humor AT ALL, quickly determined that my car was illegal, and rather than making me park it, which is what I expected, he impounded it! To make matter even worse, he checked my record, and discovered the FTA on my record. That was when he cuffed and stuffed me. Yes, you heard me right, he cuffed and stuffed my holiday dressed self, and took me to the cop shop.

At this point, you might think that my story is over, but this is where it gets good! So there I was, sitting in the area where they keep all of the “criminal element” and slowly sinking inside, because I knew that my husband could’t afford to spring me, it’s a weekend, and they aren’t going to turn me loose because I already have a Failure-To-Appear on my record.

To make matters worse, there was a woman there, who made meth addicts look rather nice, and a fellow who looked like there wasn’t a bottle or drug that he wasn’t good buddies with. They kept looking at me sideways, and finally the woman came over to talk to me. It was probably at this point that the brain gerbils first infested my head, because believe me, my brain was spinning, thinking to myself that these were the prize denizens I would be housed with that weekend in the jail.

It was at this point that I finally realized that the best defense is a good offense, and as my meth-crazed buddy asked me how a well-dressed person like me had happened to get snagged by the cops, I pulled a page from Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant”.

I calmly intoned that I had murdered my “first” husband and that the police had finally caught up to me. You see, I had hopes that by making myself appear dangerous, that most of the people in the clink would be inclined to leave me alone, and from all appearances, it was working! Go me! Ms. Meth Queen quickly moved over to the Drunkard, and not-so-sotto-voce, informed him that I was a murderer! OMG! The prison deals were dancing in their heads!

It was at this point that the booking Sargent called me over to his desk, and let me know that they were releasing me on my own recognizance, and I walked right out of that facility. I never did hear what happened after I left there.

But I must say, listening to that album was the best 18 minutes I ever spent in my life!

Can I really do this?

I have spent the last week trying my best to actually manage to do certain things, and for the most part I have succeeded…but I am very, very tired now. I plan to take the rest of the day off, well, except for cleaning out the car. Oh, and organizing all of my product, but that’s all, well, except for doing my laundry. But that’s it! I swear it is!

On the guy front, I have had a fellow chasing after me for the last week, and trust me, I ain’t trippin’! Anyone who can stop being a Conservative, church-going, homophobic Republican in response to the opinions I voiced isn’t someone I care to have around me! Seriously, he totally changed his tune whenever I voiced any sort of difference of opinion. I was rather amused, it just went to prove that he would say or do anything just to get laid!

When my NP said that maybe romance was just around the corner, I don’t think that this is what he intended! Interestingly, sitting here at the library has brought to the surface something which I had never really considered. Have you ever had an online romance? Someone whom you have never met, but seems to be good looking and just right for you? Well, I stand by my insistance upon meeting before getting in too deep, because the guy next to me, who isn’t too bad looking, has a very annoying click when he breaths in! If I had to listen to that for the rest of my life…

Finally, I posted a thingy on my facebook promising to handmake something within the year to the first 5 people who post, and who likewise promise to make something for 5 of their friends. Now let’s see if I can manage this! I have some things in mind, let’s see if they work out!

Just for the record…

Wow, what a weekend! On Thursday, everything was proceeding normally…and then my mother called me. Seems she had had a bit of an argument with her BF, and so she decided that driving 500 miles to visit me was the thing to do.

Making a very long story a bit shorter, but not by much, I got the house pretty ready for her visit, exhausting myself in the process, but at least my floors were vacuumed! Mom was a good sport, she took the upstairs bedroom, which is saying something when you are 84 years old.

When you are accustomed to doing only A, B, C, and D every day, life goes pretty smoothly. But when you add also doing 1, 2 and 3; you take what was a normal day and make it a bit rough. Each person, by ourselves, can manage the day pretty well. But add in all of the things that the OTHER person does regularly, and it starts getting a bit dicey!

On Saturday, I started with the Swap Meet at the crack o’ dawn. I was up by 6am, and there by 7:45am. I left there at about 11:45am, and got my oil changed, then went to the library, and then made Mom’s hair appointment for 5:00 PM later that day.

I ran back to Tombstone, took a quick shower, got changed, and then we returned to Sierra Vista where we had dinner, got mom’s hair done, and hit Wally World. Sadly, at Wally World, all of their wheelie carts were charging, so mom and I used the regular carts and quickly got the needed items and then got the hell outta there. Trust me, by 6:30 pm, I was wobbling a LOT.

By the time we got home, I had no desire to go out and do ANYTHING. I was in bed by about 8:30 pm, and asleep soon after. That was my exciting New Year’s Eve. Whoo Hoo!

We took it a bit easier the next day, but not by a lot, and then mom started the drive back on Monday morning. I would like to say that i then collapsed, but my local library wasn’t open on Monday, so I drove back down to Sierra Vista to get online.

The things I do for you people! LOL

So that brings us to today, and I am back down in Sierra Vista because the computers at the local library were all being used, and I can stay online until 6:45 pm here.

I think that’s enough for now, maybe next time I will tell you about the 71 year old from the Swap Meet who is trying to get into my pants. Or maybe not. I think it is rather amusing, myself. Oh, and I will also be found at my Raw website from now on. It is at www dot wearelivingintheraw.blogspot dot com, if you are at all interested.

Be back soon!

A Bit of a Confession…

Holy Jeebus, I am in lust with my Nurse Practitioner! Yes Meg, it is getting worse. See, he looks a bit like my nurse friend from San Diego, the one who, if I lived over there, I would have made a major play for. But because I have no personal limits, I am trying my best to keep this little side of myself under cover. But MAN!

So anyway, I plan to go back to being pretty much raw in a few days. I know that it is best for me, and all it takes is just being committed…that and removing anything tempting from my refrigerator and cupboard. I will go back and read all of my posts from when I was raw, and hopefully lots of positive reinforcement will be just what I need to get me back on track.

All of the makes my NP very happy, in fact, he is simply amazed at my attitude. So let’s see what the next month brings, keep your fingers crossed for me!

Short post, I have to get going now. Maybe tomorrow’s post will be longer, maybe it won’t be there at all! One never knows!